Days 114-115: EGGS!

25 Apr

I would like to tell you that I combined the following two tasks because they were related. But mostly it was because I’m really lazy.

Task 1: Easter Eggs

It was Easter Sunday yesterday and although we didn’t do anything special here at the apartment, I still wanted to paint some eggs.

Here they are post-hardboiling.

At first I was going to use my paints to do the job because I didn’t have food dye, but then I realized that it probably was not such a good idea to apply actual paint to any sort of foodstuff that you plan on eating afterwards. Because eating paint makes you crazy. It’s true. Ask Vincent Van Gogh. Oh no wait. You can’t. BECAUSE HE’S DEAD. Because he killed himself because he was crazy because he ate paint. My logic is solid and infallible.

So I used the next best thing: colored pencils!

Okay there are probably a lot of things that are better to use than colored pencils. Such as the natural juices of fruits and vegetables or something. Or I could have just stepped out for two minutes to get food dye from the store. But could I be bothered to exert any effort at all to do this thing right? Apparently not. So colored pencils it is. Also, I wasn’t worried about the health hazards of colored pencils because it had this on the box.

Which is basically express permission to ingest. "It is okay to eat this," says the label. Who am I to question its wisdom?

So then I got to drawing. And because I am a huge nerd, all the eggs were transformed into robots/other forms of advanced technology from my favorite science-fiction tv series, movie trilogy, and book.

The TARDIS!

R2-D2!

Marvin, the paranoid android!

And here they all are, mingling in a bowl in what could possibly be the most epic fandom crossover in the history of easter eggs having their pictures taken while mingling in a bowl!

End of task 1.

Task 2: Egg Salad Sandwich

Because it is only logical to eat eggs after you’ve drawn them to look like robots/androids/time and space machines.

Ingredients! Eggs (eggshell decoration not necessary), Mayonnaise (I'm using Kewpie because it is awesome, obviously), salt, pepper, red pepper flake (optional), and herbs (it is customary to use dill but you can use whatever the hell you want).

Step 1: Liberate the eggs from (the TARDIS) their shells.

Step 2: Give them a quick chop so that it's easier to combine them with the other things later.

Step 3: Squeeze some mayo onto the eggs. How much mayo depends on you because you are a free-thinking individual and you have a choice. Don't let other people tell you otherwise.

Step 4: Add in all the other things.

Step 5: Mix everything together.

Step 6: Spread the awesome onto some bread. But make sure to lay down a paper towel first so that when you've assembled your sandwich, you can simply wrap it up in the paper towel, put it in a sandwich bag, and take it to the office in the morning. Efficiency is important, folks.

Or you could simply marvel at how the light hits this sexy bastard, making it look like a gift sent from the heavens. And then get goosebumps as you hear a league of angels in the background performing Handel's Messiah, before you gobble it up.

Tomorrow, we will find out if colored pencils are indeed nontoxic, as the box so confidently claims. Exciting stuff!

See you tomorrow! Or not!

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